Yep. We made it to the five-year mark. When I tell you we made it, we did. We MADE IT WORK. Marriage for us hasn’t been a cakewalk. I can’t tell you the number of times that common sense told me that this thang was dead in the water.
To be brutally honest, there were more than a few times I contemplated ending my marriage. I mean we were just a mess. Between the two of us there were challenges that we compounded by blending our family, personal issues that we each carry and terrible communication, it just felt like things would never get better.
One day, I was all set to roll out with my toddlers in tow. My husband still isn’t even aware of this moment. When I stopped to pray. I said…
Heavenly Father, I know that according to your word that you honor marriage. I’m in pain and I’m struggling here. If this is where I’m supposed to be, please give me a word. I took to google and searched “God’s Plan for Marriage.” The answer that came at the top was
“God’s plan for marriage is that it be a reflection of Christ’s love for the church.”unknown, maybe Google
So I sat with that. I thought WOW. His love was self-sacrificing, unconditional, consistent, even given without reciprocation.
- NOTE: I am not suggesting that God wants us to put up with suffering. Abuse and infidelity aren’t what he wants for us. Stand up for yourself. Your father loves you and has plans to prosper you and not harm you.
The challenges we had were exhausting and very disappointing, but I believed that I could change my mind and heart about how I saw my marriage.
I began to think of this time as a season that my husband needed me to be his friend and support system. To love him as Christ loves him. This doesn’t leave a lot of room for me to get my wifely needs met, but I did vow to love him in sickness and health, for better or worse, until death do us part. I suppose this was the worst of times for us so far.
So I set out to serve. This was not easy. I was still upset and disappointed and it felt like an eternity. But then GOD.
I am in awe of the work God has done in our individual lives and our marriage. I have gotten better at standing up for myself and switching my role as a full-on recipient of Christ’s love in my marriage to a servant leader for my family.
My husband’s growth is practically a miracle. I look at him and am amazed at God’s love for us. I am so proud of my husband for his openness and willingness to grow in so many facets. The striking of iron on iron has sharpened our bond.
Our joint commitment to our marriage is something I’m beyond grateful for. I do not paint a pretty picture of marriage, because pretty can be pretty shallow. We get ugly and still love one another.
- We forgive each other because we have been forgiven.
- We love each other unconditionally because we are loved unconditionally.
- We love without reciprocity because we are loved without reciprocity.
- We sacrifice our needs for a time because Christ sacrificed his whole life for us.
- We serve one another because Christ washed the feet of his disciples.
- We pray for each other because Christ prayed for us.
We Made It. Thank you, Jesus.